Kill the Negative Self Talk
Negative self-talk is a progress killer and most of us experience from time to time in many forms. Like negative people sucking the life and spirit away from you, negative thoughts will ultimately do the same. Continue this process long enough and your brain will be hardwired, making this an automatic response. Here are three tactics to help put a cease to the cycle and kill the negative self talk:
1. Know Your Triggers (via dailyburn.com)
It’s important to identify what makes you sink into a shame spiral. One of the most popular methods of squashing negative thinking is called cognitive behavioral therapy, which is based on the idea that thoughts influence feelings, which then influence behavior. The goal is to recognize your unhelpful thought patterns, so you can challenge them and create a new habit. “Doing this work empowers clients to be able to make desired behavioral changes,” explains Jeff Riggenbach, Ph.D., a counselor based in Oklahoma and author of The CBT Toolbox: A Workbook for Clients and Clinicians. Start by thinking back to your most recent down-in-the-dumps episode: Did thoughts of “I’m not pretty enough…social enough…or funny enough” make you feel insecure at a party? And did that, in turn, make you want to drink too much wine? With enough awareness, you can interrupt that defeating thought next time — before it does damage.
2. Take a Break From Social Media (via mindbodygreen.com)
Studies show that social media increases self-criticism. Instead, spend some time tuning in to yourself and how you feel about and see your own life through your own eyes. Listen. Pay attention to your own thoughts. Say something nice to yourself. Be with yourself, and get clear on what you actually think and feel about who you are. This is difficult for so many of us, but if you cannot be with yourself, how do you expect anyone else to be with you? If you speak to yourself disrespectfully or even flat-out rudely, how do you expect anyone else to treat you differently? By elevating your self-treatment to a standard that aligns with your value system, your environment will follow suit. That’s the law of attraction.
3. Gratitude (via bustle.com)
“Sometimes when we are down on ourselves, the world seems pretty grim,” says Dr. Kathy Gruver, Ph.D., LMT, CHt over email. “It does become cyclical thinking. If you can stop for a moment and look at what you’re grateful for, what is positive in your life can change how you feel. It can be as simple as looking around you and acknowledging the beauty.” Regularly expressing your gratitude can help you better deal with adversity and even improve your relationship with others, according to Harvard Health.
Do you have this mastered? I’d love to connect. What works for you?